When I started this blog I had a well-structured, handwritten timetable of how I wanted to post (alongside new highlighters to make it look pretty). My energy and enthusiasm for wanting to share my cancer experience drove me.
So why after just 12 posts do I find it so hard to find the words?
Today I read a blog by a colleague at work and a quote from it struck a cord with me so I had to ‘borrow’ it for mine! (Thanks Francesca)
YOU CAN BE SAD, ANGRY, UPSET, ANXIOUS, DRAINED, OVERWHELMED UNSURE OR AFRAID – AND STILL BE POSITIVE.
The thing is Covid brought back all those fears I had felt with Cancer, fears that I was still living with. I had let them consume my mind.
So from today…
It’s time to focus on Positivity, and accept that it can sit comfortably beside the fear and uncertainty.
A Well-being seminar that I joined today suggested writing down 3 positives from each day. I like that idea. OK, so it’s an excuse for more coloured pens to use in my journal, but I feel I am doing my bit keeping the stationary business going during these difficult times.
Its time to embrace my new passion for gardening. Coming from a market gardening family, at the age of 49 I have finally found the joy of watching little seedlings grow, although I think my husband is already starting to despair as more and more seed packets come through the post. I just want to grow plants to be able to give to cancer patients, to make them smile like I did when there were gifts left at the chemo ward.
…and finally its time to get back to this blog, and looking back at the next stage of my treatment. A time where I felt rock bottom, the mastectomy…